And I still haven't found what I'm looking for
One year of At home abroad
When I took the plunge and started my Substack in May 2024, I had the laudable goal of publishing weekly, wisely rejecting any kind of fixed day or time. Writer, know thyself.
Of course, my stunning lack of self-discipline combined with the unplanned vagaries of family life and chronic disease meant that weekly publishing was not on. Still, I published 24 posts in the first year, which averages out to twice monthly (i.e., every two weeks) so on balance I find that respectable.
Am I writing about the things I want to write about? Sometimes. Often an external event sparks an idea and because I do not immediately act on it, the idea vanishes. Or becomes far less sparky, at least. The wonderful thing about Stacking is that it is not a news channel, but the journalist in me still raises her eyebrows. Timing is everything.
Some ideas are so big that I get tired thinking about how to write them; some turn out so small that I bore myself trying to write about them. Mostly I fizzle out because there are too many things competing for my attention in the non-writing world. Many of which I love1, most of which I hate.2
And now?
I shall continue. The pieces I have written and published that have generated interest, encouraging reactions, and occasional praise keep me at it. I’d like to write more of those.
Finally I carved out enough time to figure out the payments thing, so starting now you have the opportunity to take out a paid subscription to support my writing work. You can also decide to throw a few virtual coins into my tin cup from time to time with the “buy me a coffee” button… which in my case is frequently “buy me a drink” or “buy my horse a biscuit.” Every little bit helps.
I’m still not putting up a paywall, because I want my words to be free. Not just in the monetary sense, but figuratively: not trapped behind a virtual wall. Ideas running free, maybe sparking other ideas. Making people think, or laugh.
Thank you to all who have subscribed thus far, whatever your means. I hope you keep reading, and are moved to plonk the heart button, add a comment, or restack as the spirit moves you.
Spending time with my horse, making music, hanging out with my spouse, meeting friends, reading, harvesting goodies from my garden, training at my fencing club, editing things other people write, interviewing interesting people.
Having to book flights to go see my horse, keeping tabs on my teenager’s moods, rheumatic flares, medical appointments, paying bills, keeping a large house and larger garden in a semblance of order without help, general household management, shopping, deaths in the family, worrying in general.
I can relate. I have been writing off and on forever, but these days I am mostly trying to get the noise out of my head and somewhere so I can try to find that elusive thread of logic. I feel that my writing now, for an audience of probably one or two family members, is the only thing keeping me grounded. It’s nice to find others taking a similar journey.
I know exactly what you mean about those big ideas, and not knowing how to tackle them. I've been circling a big idea for over a year, writing and rewriting and wondering how the hell to make it work. Eventually I hope to pin it down and give it a big, winning smooch! Just not today, as I've been in bed all afternoon after visiting the Girona flower festival this morning and totally overdoing it. Chronic diseases truly suck.
Why do you have to book flights to visit your horse?